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“A” Students

I have learned from a young age that the “A” students generally fall into two camps: Inherent “A” students, and then those who are “A” students by choice. I am the former, and I must say that because of it my study skills are very poor. On the occasion when I encounter a concept I have trouble grasping or a lot of data to memorize, I struggle with myself, with it. Always learn it, it’s just that having to “study” is foreign enough that I’m terrible at it and loathe doing it.

I’ve been watching the other guy all week and he’s obviously the latter. He’s working HARD. He’s quite experienced in the field and is intelligent to talk to, but he doesn’t learn like he’s a duck and ideas are water. He asks a ton of questions. He pours over those labs and if he seems to actually complete one in the time allotted he goes back over it still in his last ten minutes or else I see him flipping back or flipping ahead in his class texts. I admire him. He struggles grasping the concepts the instructor is presenting, while I sit here in the back row tumbling and chatting on IM and reading ahead in the lab workbook AND listening to the lecture, just absorbing it all without conflict. What I will struggle with is learning the new programming language presented to me here, and that’s just because I have so many commands to memorize. But that guy… he WANTS this in a way I don’t know how to.

Sometimes I feel like I’d prefer to know how to want to learn badly enough, to always work hard at learning, than to have it be just a gift I came from factory with but often don’t have enough respect for. He’s not lazy the way I am. I envy him that.

2 Permalink -via sarahdamus

I feel like I have lost or am losing all of my friends.

sarahha:

When did that happen?

It happens when we aren’t paying attention. Most friendships are no different than romantic relationships: they require a little effort from both parties on a regular basis, and if you let them stagnate for too long (and it’s never intentional), one day you turn around to find the bonds have dissolved while you were distracted. We’re truly lucky folks when we make friends with whom no matter how much time has passed, a reunion is always the same: joyous, ecstatic to be in one another’s company again, and “picks up right where you left off.”

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My sink is full of unwashed dishes; my mind, unfinished thoughts.
A smear of egg yolk forgotten on the stove top has spread to my cheek,
and crumbs gather in the rug, marinating in the salt of dried tears from moments passed.

I am a perpetual mess.

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My thoughts are just too large to sift all the way down my arm and out the .5mm tip of this ink pen.

Somewhere around my knuckles, they get stuck.